[ny991]

Figured I'd start a thread about some stupid things we've done. I came up with it after what I did last Friday night.

I had a couple of friends coming over Friday night to work on one's 71 Chevelle he stores in my pole barn. I had some time to kill so I figured I'd wash my A5 that's all dirty. I grabbed the car soap and poured it in the bucket and then washed the whole car.

The guys showed up, and during the evening I looked at the A5's tires and they looked much cleaner than usual. I usually use Blue Coral soap, but I was out and grabbed some Turtle wax soap I had that had been sitting around. I told my buddy Bob about how good the tires looked from the Turtle wax soap and grabbed the bottle to show him the soap. It wasn't soap, it was Windex. I didn't look at the label when I grabbed it, just the color of what was in it. I had just removed the two coats of Carnuba that I had put on two weeks ago. What an idiot!

Oh well, the A5 got some new wax on it the next day.

[LPMM]

Don’t feel bad, I can top that... A few months ago I decided to readjust my garage door, so I took out some wrenches, screwdrivers and a crowbar. As I finished with one tool, I laid it on the door rib since it looked like a fairly handy “shelf”. A little voice in my head told me I should not do that but I figured I am smart enough to remove the tools when I done. So by the time I finished fiddling with the door, I had a nice collection of tools sitting on that “handy shelf” and I went to open the garage door to see if it stopped hanging. Did I mention that I was too lazy to move the 964 outside and that it was right under all the tools carefully lined up on the door rib? Well all of a sudden, crash bang boom, the tools fell off putting a nice dent on the engine lid and a gauge on the rear fender! Lesson of the day, the garage door rib is not a shelf!

[ny991]

Don’t feel bad, I can top that... A few months ago I decided to readjust my garage door, so I took out some wrenches, screwdrivers and a crowbar. As I finished with one tool, I laid it on the door rib since it looked like a fairly handy “shelf”. A little voice in my head told me I should not do that but I figured I am smart enough to remove the tools when I done. So by the time I finished fiddling with the door, I had a nice collection of tools sitting on that “handy shelf” and I went to open the garage door to see if it stopped hanging. Did I mention that I was too lazy to move the 964 outside and that it was right under all the tools carefully lined up on the door rib? Well all of a sudden, crash bang boom, the tools fell off putting a nice dent on the engine lid and a gauge on the rear fender! Lesson of the day, the garage door rib is not a shelf!

There are some lessons that are learned quickly! And yes, I got off easy in comparison.

[Cuda911]

Don’t feel bad, I can top that... A few months ago I decided to readjust my garage door, so I took out some wrenches, screwdrivers and a crowbar. As I finished with one tool, I laid it on the door rib since it looked like a fairly handy “shelf”. A little voice in my head told me I should not do that but I figured I am smart enough to remove the tools when I done. So by the time I finished fiddling with the door, I had a nice collection of tools sitting on that “handy shelf” and I went to open the garage door to see if it stopped hanging. Did I mention that I was too lazy to move the 964 outside and that it was right under all the tools carefully lined up on the door rib? Well all of a sudden, crash bang boom, the tools fell off putting a nice dent on the engine lid and a gauge on the rear fender! Lesson of the day, the garage door rib is not a shelf!

There are some lessons that are learned quickly! And yes, I got off easy in comparison.

Lesson I learned super quick: never refill the oil without first reinstalling the oil pan plug. 7 quarts onto the ground makes a huge mess.

[N_Jay]

Lesson I learned super quick: never refill the oil without first reinstalling the oil pan plug. 7 quarts onto the ground makes a huge mess.

Twice.

[David993S]

Installing a new set of brake pads in the 996, and was in a bit of a hurry. Buttoned it up, take it out for a drive, and hear the most gawd-awful grinding noise when I applied the brakes. Turn around, drive home (gently) using the brakes a little as possible, and look to see what's wrong. I had installed the right rear pads backwards, i.e. metal backing against the rotor / caliper piston pushing on the pad material. Fortunately, I hadn't done any damage. I did feel rather stupid, however.

[Scott at Team Harco]

Oh yeah. I could probably come up with a big list of stupid things I've done. The most memorable and annoying one is from an engine build. It was for one of my rally/RallyCross Talons. I had a bunch of work done to extract more power. Higher compression pistons, balance shaft elimination, etc.

I get it all put back together and installed in the car. All ready for the first start-up.

I turn the key, it cranks over and I hear a tink of metal hitting the driveway.

I failed to final torque the nuts on the conrod cap of one of the pistons! That rod came loose and poked a hole in the block. I had to find another block and start all over again. That engine was good, but it had issues due to mismatching second gen pistons in a first gen engine. I now build engines with durability and longevity in-mind. This has served me well for 20+ years now.

[DAVfoto]

Not installing the drain plug to my rear diff correctly in my old 01 4runner. I get down the highway and it backed itself out and then I hear the loudest sound coming from that area, sounds like a damn airplane decelerating when I start to slow down. Had to tow it and rebuild the rear diff. And the thing had an ARB locker in it, which also got blown up.

[Scott at Team Harco]

OK - that reminds me of another one. This was one of my very first engine builds.

I got my freshly built 1.6 Dodge Colt engine installed in the car and decided it would be cool to go and visit me friend at college. We lived in Rochester, MI, my buddy was going to school in Ann Arbor.

I was about half way there and I noticed a big cloud of smoke following me. I was worried I may have snapped pistons rings, or otherwise did something wrong to allow the burning of oil.

I dumped the clutch, shut off the engine and coasted off the highway into the parking lot of a Kmart. Checked the dipstick, only to discover nothing showing. Went inside and bought a few quarts of oil. Proceeded to dump in the first quart. I could hear a strange sound. It was the sound of oil going through the drain hole and onto the parking lot.

Thinking back at what I did, I remembered putting the drain plug in the oil pan and just tightening it finger tight. Clearly it worked loose and fell out. I had to call my father and ask him to bring a plug and a wrench. It was chilly. I couldn't run the engine for heat, so I had to wrap myself in a space blanket. I've always carried one in my kits since that day.

Anyway, my father came to the rescue and I went on to visit my friend. It was great to have a father that understood these things. He was my mentor and gave me the courage to work on cars (and by extension, most anything). I think I'm passing that on to my son.

[N_Jay]

We did that with a fresh head on my Celica.

Dumped 5 quarts of oil on the main street of the neighborhood.

"New rule" no beer till after everything is double checked!

[David993S]

Oh yeah. I could probably come up with a big list of stupid things I've done. The most memorable and annoying one is from an engine build. It was for one of my rally/RallyCross Talons. I had a bunch of work done to extract more power. Higher compression pistons, balance shaft elimination, etc.

I get it all put back together and installed in the car. All ready for the first start-up.

I turn the key, it cranks over and I hear a tink of metal hitting the driveway.

I failed to final torque the nuts on the conrod cap of one of the pistons! That rod came loose and poked a hole in the block. I had to find another block and start all over again. That engine was good, but it had issues due to mismatching second gen pistons in a first gen engine. I now build engines with durability and longevity in-mind. This has served me well for 20+ years now.

That reminds me of an old racers joke/story. Probably based in fact at some point in racing history:

Guy blows his engine. Walks back to the paddock where his crew asks him what happened. He says "I had an electrical problem". "Electrical problem?" says his crew. "Yeah", says the racer. "A connecting rod came through the side of the block and disconnected some wires".

[Scott at Team Harco]

Oh yeah. I could probably come up with a big list of stupid things I've done. The most memorable and annoying one is from an engine build. It was for one of my rally/RallyCross Talons. I had a bunch of work done to extract more power. Higher compression pistons, balance shaft elimination, etc.

I get it all put back together and installed in the car. All ready for the first start-up.

I turn the key, it cranks over and I hear a tink of metal hitting the driveway.

I failed to final torque the nuts on the conrod cap of one of the pistons! That rod came loose and poked a hole in the block. I had to find another block and start all over again. That engine was good, but it had issues due to mismatching second gen pistons in a first gen engine. I now build engines with durability and longevity in-mind. This has served me well for 20+ years now.

That reminds me of an old racers joke/story. Probably based in fact at some point in racing history:

Guy blows his engine. Walks back to the paddock where his crew asks him what happened. He says "I had an electrical problem". "Electrical problem?" says his crew. "Yeah", says the racer. "A connecting rod came through the side of the block and disconnected some wires".

That's not uncommon in F1. Honda, in particular, were having reliability issues a few years ago. Frequently the reason given for the DNFs were 'electrical', or some other cause unrelated to the fact that the engine failed.

[JDS968]

Installing a new set of brake pads in the 996, and was in a bit of a hurry. Buttoned it up, take it out for a drive, and hear the most gawd-awful grinding noise when I applied the brakes. Turn around, drive home (gently) using the brakes a little as possible, and look to see what's wrong. I had installed the right rear pads backwards, i.e. metal backing against the rotor / caliper piston pushing on the pad material. Fortunately, I hadn't done any damage. I did feel rather stupid, however.

Oh yeah. I could probably come up with a big list of stupid things I've done. The most memorable and annoying one is from an engine build. It was for one of my rally/RallyCross Talons. I had a bunch of work done to extract more power. Higher compression pistons, balance shaft elimination, etc.

I get it all put back together and installed in the car. All ready for the first start-up.

I turn the key, it cranks over and I hear a tink of metal hitting the driveway.

I failed to final torque the nuts on the conrod cap of one of the pistons! That rod came loose and poked a hole in the block. I had to find another block and start all over again. That engine was good, but it had issues due to mismatching second gen pistons in a first gen engine. I now build engines with durability and longevity in-mind. This has served me well for 20+ years now.

Oh boy. These both remind me of something.

One time I did a complete rebuild on the 968 calipers. Was it all four or just the rears? I think it was all four. Can't remember. Anyway, I took them apart, cleaned up the bores and stripped the surfaces and everything, spent a bunch of time repainting them as well as I could (and I SUCK at painting), even redoing the white PORSCHE lettering over the shiny black paint, put new pistons, seals, and boots in, the whole deal. I had the 968 up on the lift at the dealership where I was a tech and I put it all back together after work. I'm kinda in a rush (BAD IDEA) and I have to get somewhere, so I get it all together, get the car off the list, pack up my shit, and go. A couple miles on the street and then onto I-95. Almost immediately I hear the more horrific grinding noise. I pull off the road and sure enough, a rear caliper is loose, hitting the rotor. I threaded all the bolts in by hand, but somehow forgot to torque down the bolts on one caliper. Of course they immediately started backing out and when one of them fell out, the caliper rotated and one end hit the outer edge of the rotor. I got it towed back in, got a new bolt, and got the caliper reattached. Nothing was bent or broken, but the edge of the caliper had a nasty gouge in it and my not-so-perfect new paintjob was already fucked up.

Oh well. It still stopped on a dime and that shiny new paint got ruined by Performance Friction PF97 brake dust immediately anyway. Every time I hit the brakes in the Z06, I miss the 968. I'm thinking about dropping thousands of dollars on an AP Racing Radi-Cal front caliper kit, but I don't know if that'll fix the problem. I think the booster is just designed with WAAAY too much assist, and I'm not sure how to source a booster with less assist that will fit.

[Crisis]

A few years ago, my son and I were in the driveway, swapping out the winter tires for summers on my wife's minivan. Just as we were finishing up, it started to rain - hard. So we removed the jackstands, lowered the van back down and sprinted inside.

The next day, my wife and daughters drove to Edmonton, about 5 hours away. Just after they'd entered the city, my wife noticed some odd noises and vibration coming from the van. She pulled over, noticed a couple missing lug nuts and a bunch of loose ones. She didn't appreciate my joke about trying to kill her, though the girls kinda thought it was funny. Wife still doesn't find it funny. On the plus side, now I always double check that I've torqued those lug nuts.

[SeanR]

I've done this twice.

When removing the fan shroud on a later 928 you have to undo the upper oil cooler line and tuck it out of the way. So on each of these times I got done doing the timing belt/water pump jobs, put it all back together and go for starting the engine. Let me tell you, there are 9 quarts of oil in a 928 and when you leave that line to the cooler tucked away and not connected where it's supposed to go, that engine can pump oil out very quickly. And all over the place. It takes two large bags of kitty litter to clean up and a 1/2 case of brake cleaner.

After the 2nd time I put post it note on the drivers side window saying "OIL LINE?"